There’s something that I have been seeing lately that is troubling. Women trying to be with men who don’t want them. I mean the women that were at one time with the dude, but now the man doesn’t want to be with them.
Sis, don’t chase him. That is not a good look for you. Let me tell you why. But before I do, let me say that this is purely my opinion and what I have seen.
Why is it not a good look?
Patti Stanger, the Millionaire Matchmaker, has said men are hunters and will go after what they want.
If a man wants you he’s going to let you know. He’ll smile at you, invent ways to try to talk to you, he’ll do whatever he needs to do to get close to you.
But if your man suddenly doesn’t want to talk to you, dodges you (like declines calls, blocks you on everything), or doesn’t make any effort to spend time with you; girl, he’s not interested anymore.
Now, if he’s sending out mixed signals like these, it’s okay to track him down and ask what is going on. If he’s not interested, let him go.
But on the off chance that he’s going through something but still wants to be with you, relax. He’ll come back around and will hunt you like the gazelle you are!
If he’s not into you, you don’t want to come off looking broken like someone I knew. Let’s call her Tomika.
The Story of Tomika
Back when I was a teenager, there was a girl in our neighborhood who I saw around but didn’t know. One of my friends knew her well. So it was a friend of a friend thing. Unfortunately, I saw this whole situation play out in front of everyone!
Well, there was this guy, I’ll call Jay, who lived in the neighborhood too. Jay was a little older than me and my friend group. That didn’t stop us from thinking he looked good. He was tall, light-skinned, and quiet-spoken. He seemed like an okay guy.
Well, Tomika liked Jay and they got together. I saw them everywhere together.
Later on, I heard gossip that they were, you know, doing the ‘do’. I know I shouldn’t listen to gossip, but this was juicy!
After some months, I heard that they had broken up. After that, anytime I saw Tomika; she looked heartbroken. I mean you could feel it!
Then I started to notice that whenever I saw Jay, I saw Tomika somewhere lurking around; like some stalker. Once I saw him walking down the street, and there she was; following a few feet behind him.
I asked my friend what was going on because I thought they had broken up. She said they had but Tomika was still hooked on him and wouldn’t leave him alone.
It was pitiful to see her chasing behind a man that didn’t want her. What was worse was that she didn’t get it.
What I learned
Once the relationship is over, it’s over. Don’t go following him anywhere. What you need to do is get on with your life.
If he never wants to talk to you again, cut your losses and move on. There are more men out there.
Being away from him will open you up to a guy who’s good and right for you. Good guys will not approach you if they feel you are already attached.
There was a saying back in the ’90s: drop the zero and get yourself a hero. I believe that applies here.
If you have a similar story or a comment, please leave it down in the comment section below. It may help someone else.