Sometimes in your life, you will come across people who will pretend to be your friend but aren’t. It happened to me. I thought a couple of coworkers and I were cool, but they turned out to be fake friends. Here’s that story and what I learned from it, and what I found out true friends are.
I received a temporary position as an administrative assistant in the warehouse department of a world-known automotive manufacturing company.
In the past, this company used to hire permanent employees but, for whatever reason, has started hiring many temporary employees. My idea was that it’s cheaper to hire a temp because the company doesn’t have to pay for health insurance or any other benefits.
Well, anyway, there were two women in the office with me. One lady handled the shipping of stuff, and the other handled the receiving of stuff. I verified that everything had been shipped or received correctly. It was dull, but it paid, and I needed the money.
The first day went well. I met my two coworkers, and we all seemed to get along. The next day, I noticed something strange. Whenever I said anything in conversation, the ladies would exchange glances with each other. I got the feeling that something I had said was wrong, cheesy, or something. Needless to say, I stopped talking a lot in the office.
Another odd thing I noticed was that it seemed the Shipping Lady (I will refer to her as SL) was a little nervous or scared of the Receiving Lady (I will refer to her as RL).
When all three of us were in the room, SL would exchange looks with RL, talk with her, and ignore me. When RL was out of the room, SL would talk to me like we were best friends.
At first, it didn’t bother me because I thought it was something that happened once in a while, not all the time. Yeah, crazy, I know.
One day, SL and I were sitting in the office, and she asked me if I wanted to go out to lunch. I had rejected her earlier invitation but thought I’d accept this one. I still wanted to fit in and seem pleasant. So I asked where she wanted to go. She mentioned the restaurant that my husband managed.
I was a little surprised, but was okay with it. So we left for lunch.
The lunch mishap
SL, LL (a friend of SL’s who worked in the Logistics Department; therefore, referred to as LL), and I went to the restaurant.
It was lunchtime, and the restuarant was busy! After we got to the counter and ordered, I asked to speak to the GM. The cashier was reluctant to get him but did.
Well, my husband showed up, and he was in work mode—very professional. This was fine because I’m professional when I’m in work mode too.
When he came up to the counter, I introduced my co-workers. He, in turn, introduced the cashier, who turned out to be his new assistant manager.
While my co-workers’ food orders were fixed, my husband and I talked. During this chit-chat, the assistant manager found out I was his boss’s wife. He asked if he should comp the meal, but my husband said not to do it.
The assistant manager couldn’t believe that my husband wouldn’t comp my meal, but I wasn’t surprised. My husband had talked about how comped meals for family and friends were against the restaurant’s rules, and he wasn’t going to do it.
It wasn’t until we got our food and sat down that I noticed the look on my co-workers’ faces. It was solemn. It was at that moment I realized they probably thought they’d get a free meal.
Well, I didn’t say too much during lunch. I think if it had been just me and SL, I would have been more talkative. We had worked together for a while, and I felt comfortable with her. Unfortunately, I’m sometimes a little quiet around people I don’t know.
Well, I was never asked out again. Could it have been that I wasn’t a good lunch partner, or could it be that they were looking for a free meal? Anyway, they never asked me out again.
Well, a little while later, the relationship between SL and I kind of broke down. Do you remember all those glances that were thrown around? It was still going on, and it started to get on my nerves.
She would talk to me when RL wasn’t in the room, but wouldn’t talk to me when RL was in the room. My thought is that if you’re going to be my friend, you’re going to be my friend in front of others. We are not going to be friends in secret.
Needless to say, I stopped chit-chatting with her. I could tell it hurt her feelings, but I was not going to do the ‘secret friendship’ anymore. Looking back, I should have said something to her about it, but I didn’t.
Anyway, our relationship was strained after that. Some months later, she ended up leaving. Months after that, I left too.
What I learned
The whole thing was a learning experience. Just because someone is nice to you does not mean they are your friend.
How to tell if you have fake friends
That’s a good question. You can usually tell a friend by their actions. Here are a few things a true friend will do:
1) They will be with you no matter what. Ride or die!
2) They will take your secrets to their grave. Side note: Make sure you let them know that it’s a secret so they will know.
3) They will be respectful of you and your boundaries.
4) They will tell you the truth no matter what, even if it makes you mad or hurts your feelings.
There are people out there who will pretend to be your friend, but turn out to be fake friends. The point is that these people are out to get what they can get, and you’re not important to them.
There are ways to find out. That’s my opinion.
If you have any comments you’d like to share, please add them to the comment section down below. I’d love to read them.