I want to preface this post by saying that these are my opinions and experiences.
Dating is a way for two single people to spend time together and get to know each other better. I dated some when I was single. During that time, I learned 10 essential tips for a safe and successful date.
10 essential tips
1. Before leaving on your date, let someone know who you are with and where you are going
Always tell someone who you will be with and where you two are going. That way if you go missing, authorities will know where to start looking.
Though your date may go well, please be aware that there are stories of dates gone wrong. A simple Google search–such as people going missing–will bring up all kinds of information. So be aware.
2. Dress modestly
You want to look dressy and put together–not hooker-ish. I’d stay away from anything skintight or skimpy.
3. Don’t be afraid to leave if the date becomes uncomfortable
Don’t be scared to leave if the date becomes creepy or scary. Never stay in a situation where you feel unsafe.
If the situation starts to get a little crazy, you can always go to the ladies’ restroom and call a friend to come to pick you up. In a worst-case scenario, you can contact an Uber, Lyft, or taxi.
Even if he pleads to take you home after you try to bail, don’t accept! This could be a trick to get you somewhere and take revenge on you. Crazy talk? Jumping to conclusions? Maybe, but it’s better to be safe than sorry!
4. Always take money
I remember getting advice from an older family friend about dating. He said to always take some money along on a date. That way, if I needed to leave I could.
So anytime I went out, I had some cash or my debit card in my pocket.
5. Offer to split the bill
I always offer to split the bill. He pays for his and I pay for mine.
You don’t have to insist–just offer. In my opinion, it takes away the power of the ‘if the guy pays, the woman gives him sex’ argument. Some guys will still insist on paying, and I always ask if they are sure they want to pay for both of us.
If they agree to pay, then in my mind, there’s no expectation of repayment. He offered to pay for both of us. If he tries something, I have a hit to the groin or jaw for him.
6. Don’t have sex on the first date
In my mind, sex on the first date is way too early. It’s important to take the time to truly get to know someone before diving into a physical relationship.
Also, having sex too soon into a relationship will give the impression of being easy and THAT kind of girl! You don’t want that. It’s not a good look.
7. Avoid alcohol and drugs
Alcohol and drugs lowers your guard and dulls your senses. This puts you in a position to make poor judgments and leaves you open to all kinds of danger.
If you drink, keep it in your sight at ALL TIMES. Get a new drink if your eye goes off it. Ever heard of Roofies or the date rape drug (Rohypnol), liquid ecstasy (GHB), or Special K (Ketamine)? Real folks use these drugs on real people; it’s not just something Hollywood thought up. Men and women do it.
8. Give a goodnight kiss only if you want to
The kiss good night can be a nervous thought. Though it’s usually expected, it is not mandatory. If you do want to kiss and the other person is willing, then go for it!
My advice is to keep it simple and appropriate, especially in public. No one wants to see a full-on make-out session. A brief 3-second kiss is acceptable. If you both feel like having another one, go for it, but keep it respectful.
9. Meet in a public place
If you are concerned about your safety or met this person online, please have your first meeting in a public place. You all could meet where the date is to happen; that’s what I’ve always done.
10. Be ready to conversate
The whole point of a date is to get to know each other better. The best way to do this is by asking questions and discussing what makes you unique. Before the date, it’s helpful to have a few topics in mind that you both can discuss.
The takeaway
Dating is a good way to get to know someone better. Here are 10 essential tips for a safe and successful date:
1. Let someone know where you’re going and who you’re with.
2. Dress modestly.
3. Don’t be afraid to leave if the date becomes uncomfortable.
4. Always bring money with you.
5. Offer to split the bill.
6. Don’t have sex on the first date.
7. Avoid alcohol and drugs.
8. Give a goodnight kiss only if you want to.
9. Meet in a public place.
10. Ready to conversate.
Just saying!
If you called over a friend to pick you up early, how would you explain it to your date — especially if you’re nervous if they may get angry or violent about it?
I can’t give you an answer. I need more information. Like is the date going weird?
This is the example I have:
Your date is weird. He’s acting kinda clingy and crazy and stuff. Well, you decide to leave. So you call your friend, and they decide to pick you up. You stay in the bathroom until they are at the place (let’s say it’s a restaurant). When they call you back saying they’re at the restaurant, you leave the bathroom and meet your date.
How do you tell him that you’re leaving, but it’s so he doesn’t realize it’s because of him? You know that if you just… left, he’d probably get angry and cause a scene (maybe throwing chairs around or something).
So, how do you leave without that happening?
Based on what you’ve told me, this is what I would do (I’m kind of a coward). I would calmly go back and tell him that I got a call, something came up and I have to leave. If he asks what it is, I’d say it’s kinda personal and I’ll talk to you later. A friend of mine is coming to pick me up.
If he offers to drive you, decline. Tell him your friend is coming to get you. Whatever you do, don’t lie; because it starts a chain. You will have to tell another lie to back up that first lie. Just deflect and be non-committal. The main thing is to get out of there.
If you think he could get violent, the last thing you want is for him to think you are rejecting him. That’s why you stay calm and stay non-committal. This is also why it’s important to meet in a public place. That way he doesn’t know where you live.
This is my opinion.