Believe People When They Reveal Their True Selves– A StoryTime

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Poet and author Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” This means when someone shows you who they are, believe them. This person is showing you who they are. 

I have learned that you should believe people when they show their true self. Want to know how I found out, keep reading. 

The story

In my early twenties, I was active in the dating scene and met a nice-looking man who seemed to be everything I wanted: curly hair, caramel-colored skin, athletic build, and a charming, smooth manner. Let’s call him S.

I liked S and wanted to see where the relationship would go. We shared many interests, like the same kind of movies.

However, one thing would test our relationship: my decision to remain a virgin until marriage. In today’s society, this is not a popular choice, but it is important to me. I shared this with S early on. Other guys I had dated seemed cool with my decision.

Initially, S seemed okay with it too, but as our relationship progressed, he began questioning my choice. He repeatedly asked why I wanted to wait, and I explained it was due to my faith.

This questioning went on for weeks, but I put up with it—what we’ll do for love! He didn’t ask every day, just occasionally.

During this time, he told me that he had sex with every girl he dated. That was a huge RED FLAG. He was telling me what his dating pattern was, but did I take it as such? Nope! I thought since he loved me, he’d change for me and respect my decision.  

The breakup

Well, long story short he didn’t. We broke up and went our separate ways. I finally got the message he wasn’t comfortable with us waiting and that’s fine. 

Graphic of man facing woman; just looking at each other. Blog graphic for blog post believe people when they reveal their true selves--storytime from awomansoutlook.com.

What happened after the breakup

Well, about a year down the road, I ran into him again. I worked in an upscale clothing store. I enjoyed my job as a Sales Associate but didn’t enjoy working with my coworkers.

One day while I’m at work, guess who shows up? Yep, S and his new girlfriend. He was the last person I wanted to see. To me, he was a part of my life I wanted to forget. 

Anyway, here he was with his new girlfriend. She was pretty, tall, had short hair, and was slim. I figured he was having sex like he wanted.

Well, I was polite and calm. I spoke with him like I would any custom, I wanted him to go away so I could get back to work. After catching me up on what he has been doing since we broke up, he and his girlfriend leave. With them gone, I finished up my work and went downstairs to clock out.

As I was clocking out, I ran into them again. I wasn’t in the mood, but my default was to be polite. We chatted some more, and S mentioned that he and his girlfriend were sexually active. No big surprise there. I looked at her and noticed her forced smile. She was pretending everything was okay, but it wasn’t.

Then it hit me. How does it feel to stand there while your boyfriend brags to his ex about you all’s sex life? I felt so sorry for her.

At that point, I was done with him. I didn’t want to speak to him. I don’t want to look at him anymore. I don’t remember what I said but the conversation ended, and I was left in peace. 

What I learned 

What I learned is to believe people when they lay everything out for you. Believe them when they say they’re like this, and they want that. If you listen to what they are saying you will understand what you are getting into, and you can decide if you want to continue on this path. 

Some women, I was included at one point, think that if we find the perfect man he’ll change whatever we want because he loves us. That’s not always the case. 

The takeaway 

If someone shows you who they truly are, believe them. Don’t give them a second chance or the benefit of the doubt.

While some people may change over time, are you willing to risk that they won’t?

Just saying!

If you have any tips or comments, feel free to share them in the comments section. Your feedback is invaluable! Thank you for reading.

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